恩言雜誌

Gracious Words

Journey to My Faith

Esther Chan

 

Esther Chan-

Igrew up in Christian environment with Christian standards. I did not fathom what it meant to be a Christian. I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 5 or 6 years old, and I knew a lot about the Bible and wasn’t afraid to show so in Sunday school class or to my friends. I attended Awana and learned many Bible verses yet did not understand their true meaning. My parents at that time took our family to Korean morning prayer meetings. It started at 5:30 AM and I didn’t understand the importance of prayer. This shows my lack of understanding for the respect Christ deserves. In fourth grade, I started having serious doubts about Christianity and who God was. I questioned my place in the kingdom of God. I confronted my mom about all my questions and ultimately she redirected my questions to God and the Bible. It was then that I rededicated my life to Christ and started living more whole-heartedly in the faith.

In fourth to sixth grade, I was starting to be badly influenced by the world. I felt pressured to curse, to question my belief in Christ, and tempted to lower God’s standards. Sometimes I ignored them and others. I just became tolerant to the world’s ideas. Joining TIGS was a great spiritual experience in my journey to the Lord. I started a daily time in the Word, note-taking during sermons, understanding the meaning behind application, and spending more time in prayer. Christ was molding me and maturing me.

My life at the time was going great. God blessed me with Christian friends. I was doing my devotions every day, I prayed to God, and I had a family I could rely on. I did not feel a strong need to grow anymore. I felt content where I was. So God decided to take my mom, Auntie Linda. She was a big part of our family and one whom we depended on a lot. It personally drew me to Jesus when my mom was taken. And in that trial my faith in God’s will grew and my dependence on Him was stronger.

Second Corinthians 1:3-4: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

My eyes were also opened to how much the church comes together in comforting and encouraging one another. I praise God for that. About a week, after my mother death, I walked around my backyard and said my testimony to God. No one was home so it was just me and Him. After I finished, I felt compelled by the Holy Spirit to be baptized. I did however, put it off. When I found out that Angie and Rebekah were getting baptized, and they asked me if I wanted to go to the class with them, I knew God was telling me to go. So now we are here. I want God to use me. I want to be an instrument of His work. God will continually made me more like Christ and mold me to His will.

Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

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