My name is Janey Kwong. I come from a non-Christian family background. I grew up doing things my family believed in, like ancestor worship. Yet, I did not connect God to these rituals. I don’t really remember how my belief that there could be a God came from. I do remember as a kid that when I did something bad, I would ask God to forgive me.

I was not able to seek God until I went away to college. I was able to find out about God by going to church, going to Bible studies and reading the Bible. The church group that I had joined seemed very loving and caring. I thought that if God was real then I could see God’s love through Christians because God’s spirit lives in them; but I felt that they failed to show God’s love when I needed it most. Later on in life I came to realize that all people, even Christians, are imperfect, because we are all prone to selfishness. Christians strive to be Christ-like, but they are not Christ. So, my theory to prove God’s existence through Christians failed. I felt disappointed that I could not have a relationship with God.

After college, I came back to Sacramento. I didn’t have any friends in town, and I felt lonely. So I sought out an old friend who is Christian and lives in Sacramento. To make this part of the story short, that friendship ended with hurt, bitterness, and disappointment. Though I felt Christian friends failed me, I did not close myself off to possible future Christian friendships. Yet I did not want to go to church to make friends because going to church to me was about seeking God. After all this, I sort of gave up on God. I could not prove God’s existence through Christians.

By this point, I had stopped seeking God, and decided to try my luck seeking love through online dating, but that likewise ended up in heartache. So I gave that up as well, and in 2006 I created an activity group to meet new people and do fun activities, while hopefully making new friends. I thought that I had put God behind me. The funny thing is that I met a few Christians in my activity group. God provided an open door for me to still seek Him through these new Christian friends. One friend invited me to church, church activities and bible studies. This slowly brought me back to sort of seeking God, but I remained on the fence about Him.

I later came to realize that I was looking for love in the wrong places. I was seeking love and acceptance through people. Friends hurt and disappointed me, and guys that I had dated caused me heartache. What I could not see was God’s love for me.

One day in May of 2015, there was a moment that caused me to reflect on all the selfish and bad things that I have done that I could go to hell for. I came to realize that I can do nothing to save myself from hell. I felt remorseful for the bad things that I had done. I realized that I needed Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I knew that I no longer wanted to continue living the way I was living.

After I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, something happened maybe a day or so later. While I was at work, I was listening to Christian songs, and this song “In Christ Alone” came alive to me, showing me what Jesus had done for me. I remember feeling joy and wanting to sing the lyrics to this song out loud. However, I was at work, so I could not.

Even though I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and believed that He died for my sins, He was not yet the Lord of my life because I still continued to do things not pleasing in God’s sight. However, God is slowly working on changing me from the inside. I noticed that things once important to me are no longer of value to me and that I am now able to let go those things.

Though I had thought that I needed to experience a big, miraculous change to be ready for baptism, I have come to see that my desire to follow after God and follow his commandment to be baptized is enough. I am ready to be baptized. Romans 6:4 states, “We were therefore buried with him through
baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.”

My heart’s desire is to love and follow after God. I am no longer seeking love from people but to give love to people as God has loved me by sending Jesus to die for my sins.

If you see me now, and I still seem the same as before, remember that God is slowly working in me because I believe that I am anew asin 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!”

Thank you for coming here to witness my baptism, and for listening to my testimony.