I
grew up in a Christian home, attending church since before I could remember, and also attending a private Lutheran school. As an ignorant child, I thought everyone lived like this–private schools and going to church–because my family did this. The church I grew up in was Riverside Wesleyan Church where I would go to see friends and learn things about Jesus. I had to because there were no other options not because I didn’t want to go to church. I loved church! But I didn’t really understand everything, especially how God sent His one and only son, Jesus, to die for our sins, so He can rise three days later.

Around 4th or 5th grade, my Sunday School teacher asked us if we wanted to accept Jesus as our personal Savior. I didn’t, but I thought about it, and later asked my brother to pray with me in our backyard. As an 8 year old, I’m sure I thought I had a good reason to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. My mind was still full of Bible stories. My teachers and leaders also told me that God loves me, and I should love Him back!

The next year, my parents thought it better if my siblings and I came here to Chinese Grace because they thought the youth program was stronger and would better benefit us as growing children. So it happened. My mom grew up in the church, Chinese Grace, and my siblings and I would go to VBS every year. We were familiar with Chinese Grace. When I did accept Christ, I didn’t fully understand everything; I just went with it. During VBS every year, I would re-accept Jesus Christ as my Savior because I thought I wasn’t good enough: I made too many mistakes, and I sinned too much.

As usual, my parents were right about moving to Chinese Grace. The youth programs proved to be very helpful, including TIGS and CYF, and even CBM Camp. I grew so much in my spiritual walk, learned more about the maturing faith we need to have, and continued to grow in relationship with God.

I still had doubts, questions, and concerns. I didn’t want to give God 100% control over my life. Actually, today, right now, I still have doubts and questions and concerns, and I struggle with giving God full control over my life. But those are things that we can’t focus on, and we can’t let them burden and compromise our faith.

This past year I dealt with complacency. I felt my faith was neither growing nor weakening. I would put others above God, and God would just be in the background. I lived for myself, and I wanted control over my life. I would do the things I wanted, the way I wanted. I put idols over God, and I put myself over God. Everything was going good in my life. But in the back of my mind, I knew my faith and relationship with God was secondary, and I wanted to do something about it. I wanted that passion that some Christians have. But in the back of that thought, I told myself even though I want that passion to live for God, there was nothing I was ever going to do about it to have that passion. I would give up on myself and on God, and my only solution was to live for something I was good at living for– myself. Like I said earlier, I was very aware of this complacency in my faith, and I even decided to go on my first short-term mission trip to Mexico in hopes of the experience giving me a leap of faith. It was very eye opening, and it did give me a leap of faith. But when you jump, you fall. And I went back to complacency.

There was never really a defining moment in my life where I had a God given moment when I decided to serve worship, and glorify Him with a never-ending faith. It’s been a process from when I went to church as a young boy to this very day. My spiritual walk is ever growing, and it can only grow stronger with God’s hand. My walk with God is always evolving, little by little, day by day, experience by experience, with times of praise, and with times of sorrow. Living a Christian life won’t be perfect, and it won’t be easy. We will continue to sin, to succumb to temptation, deal with struggles, but that’s only more motivation to strive for the glory and graciousness of God. James 1:2-4, a passage I always love to read, says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

I want to be baptized to publicly declare my faith in Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. Jesus was baptized, and He commands us to also be baptized in His name. If we do not, we are disobeying God. A common passage in Matthew 28:19-20 says, “Therefore go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you (including baptism!). And surely I am with you always, to the end of the age.” In Acts 8, when Phillip shared the Gospel with the Ethiopian eunuch, the eunuch asked, “What prevents me from getting baptized?” And Phillip said, ‘If you believe with all your heart, you may’. He answered and said, ‘I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God,’” and Phillip baptized him. My answer is the same: I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.