Late last year, I began feeling some bodily discomfort. I did not take it to heart at the time, until it became a severe health issue in January. In actuality, I had an appointment to see a liver specialist in early February. One day in late January, rather unexpectedly, I felt nauseous and began to vomit. Due to concerns of dehydration, my doctor recommended I go to an emergency facility immediately. The brief emergency visit quickly turned into an extended hospital stay. On the first day of my hospitalization, an ultrasound revealed the presence of tumors in my liver, and a biopsy was performed.  The next day, I lapsed into a state of coma. The doctor diagnosed my ailment as “acute liver failure” and stated that my condition was very critical. I was confined in the hospital the next month, with two-thirds of the time spent in the Intensive Care Unit. While in the ICU, I was surrounded by the sounds of impending death, of weeping, and of paramedics’ desperate attempts to save lives. Throughout my long journey towards recovery, I have found peace in the presence of God. Let me witness the grace of God from three different perspectives.

The Lord Sits Enthroned Over the Flood

In the past I had only heard this verse in passing, but now I find myself experiencing it.

I was awakened after four days in a comatose state. I have never walked so intimately with the specter of death, nor felt with such keenness the warm light of God’s presence. As I lay there dying, the “shadow of death” beckoned, I experienced close encounters with both the forces of darkness and the Spirit of God. There was a voice from the dark side whose sound I intentionally ignored. Then, I saw a glowing tunnel of lights before me. God’s presence surrounded me, and soon His peace engulfed me. Even though I could not see the image clearly, I could hear a voice saying, “Are you ready to come home with me?” I replied, “Yes, I am ready. At your appointed time, I will gladly depart as ‘it is far better to be with Christ.’ (Phil. 1:23).” But God said, “Your time has not yet come. Remember my promise that ‘nothing shall separate you from the love of God which is in Christ.’ (Romans 8:39).” I woke up from my deep sleep with a foggy haze over me, not knowing if my time had expired. I vaguely remember overhearing the nurse mutter, “Help him turn on some lights… so his relatives and friends can be by his side…, let him…” At that instant, I reckoned I’d gone to be with God. After I regained my consciousness, I shared this moment with my wife Margaret. She assured me “nothing of that sort ever happened”. Nonetheless, as I lay in my deathbed, I was overwhelmed by the peace that only God can bestow. Having experienced this peace, it really matters not if God will let me live or bring me home to be with Him. God has chosen to extend my earthly life; my every breath is by His grace, and he will hold my hands to face another day.

One morning, as I woke up in the ICU, a beautiful melody of harp music came wafting into my room. I distinctly noted the hymns as they were quite familiar: “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms” (Elisha Hoffman) and “My Peace” (Keith Routledge). It turned out that an elderly Christian lady comes regularly to play her harp for the ailing patients in the ICU wards. The music provided me great comfort and encouragement that morning and beyond. They were God’s affirmation to strengthen my faith in His promises. I vowed that if I live another day, it will for my Lord, and not for myself (Galatians 2:20). I have resolved to follow God, whatever He wills and wherever He brings me. I face each day with a renewed attitude filled with my hope and His promises. As for me and my earthly stay, every day is a “bonus” day from God, a gift of His grace.

Husband and Wife: One Heart, One Yoke

Without my wife Margaret’s steadfast willingness to bear and share my yoke, I could not have journeyed this far.

From the onset of my coma, Margaret has never ceased to comfort me by my bedside. Every day, she would play my favorite hymns and read my daily devotionals from Mrs. Cowman’s “Streams in the Desert”. When I finally awoke, the first thing she told me was, “God saved your life!” She filled me in on all the happenings during the four days while I was unconscious. She described how the ICU visiting areas were packed everyday with friends who came to lend support. I quickly became a minor celebrity in the ICU ward, and even my doctor jokingly exclaimed, “You must be a very good man!”

Even now, Margaret is still caring for me around the clock. Aside from meticulously attending to my physical needs, she is also keenly aware of my spiritual well-being. Using hymns, devotionals and especially the word of God, she provides me with encouragement and exhortation every single day. Through this seeming misfortune and suffering due to ill-health, I’ve tasted the sweetness of bearing a yoke with my wonderful wife. I firmly believe that without our Christian faith, Margaret and I would not have reached this spiritual peak.

Love and Prayers Surround Me

Due to the outpouring of love and incessant prayers from my brothers and sisters in Christ, I’ve learned to weather the raging storms. Without your interceding prayers, I could not have reached this point in my healing process. God has listened to your prayers, and He has made me a living testimony of His grace and mercy. At first, the doctors speculated that I only had “a few days” to live. The assessment was then amended to say “a few weeks”, and today, they profess they simply do not know! They can only state that I’m still walking a tight rope between the edge of life and death. They are no longer speculating how long my clock will continue to tick. The only certainty is my life is completely in the hands of God.

Since the day I awakened from my coma, I have completely changed my outlook in life. Some things which used to tangle my heart in knots do not trouble me anymore. Due to our differences in views in various church matters, I have developed a strained relationship with some pastors. Through the years, I have strayed farther and farther away from them. This has been a great regret in my life that tugs at my heart. I am very grateful to God for giving me an opportunity to mend wounded hearts and repair broken relationships. God knows that deep in my heart I’ve always wanted to make amends with these shepherds. I thank God for charting a way and giving me a second chance to right some wrongs in the past. Now, I’m truly “anxious for nothing” (Phil. 4:6). I entrust everything to God’s providence. God may call me home to heaven or keep me here on earth. Either way, His will is exceedingly better than mine.

Conclusion

I thank God for the calming peace as I go “through the flood”. With a blessed assurance, I trust that no matter what the circumstances, “He still sits enthroned and rule as king forever”. Amidst my health crises, I thank Him for proofs of His unending love for me. I am forever grateful to my loving soulmate, Margaret, who has shown me how the entwined hearts of a godly union can bear any yoke and overcome any challenges. I wish to thank our pastors, brothers and sisters in Christ, and friends for your care, love, and prayers. Thank you for seeing me through this stormiest time of my life.

As I emerge from the storm, my life has been completely overturned! “It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.” This verse in Galatians 2:20 aptly describes my life today. I will live each day to bear witness to God’s goodness. It is my hope and prayer that my current chemotherapy regimen will end soon. As long as my physical condition allows it, I look forward to returning to our church and worshipping God with you all. I shall continue to be a living testimony for God’s glory.

“The Lord sits enthroned over the Flood; the Lord is enthroned as King forever.” (Psalm 29:10)